The Birds and the Bees


We don’t need a replay of how the baby was made in a maternity picture.

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  1. Gross.

  2. I like this composition! Very different. .

  3. omg hahahaha.. wow.

  4. Why are his pants undone? Yuck!

  5. This is nothing. I have seen SOOOOO much worse!

  6. alex on February 21, 2012 at 11:40 pm said:
    Why are his pants undone? Yuck!

    As if her pants being undone is acceptable?
    What is this, “Baby, The Prequel”?

  7. I don’t think this is a bad shot at all. I would have had dad unbutton his shirt completely, and I wouldn’t have done only the denim in color, but clients like pictures like this.

    • I hope to all that is holy that this is sarcasm, but I have a hunch it isn’t.

      I don’t care if “clients” like spot color. You’re supposed to be a professional. I’m sure the people who listen to me on the radio would like to hear me say dirty words all day, but it’s my job to do what’s right for my business. Photographers are no different.

      Next time someone asks for a shot like this, or a hanging baby, or spot color, you say, “I don’t do those kinds of shots because they’re STUPID.”

      • High Horsie

        What a super idea Don!!!!!

        Except for the fact that the customer is the one who pays your salary.

        So the next time you say to your customer “I don’t do those kinds of shots because they’re STUPID,” they’ll just find another photographer who will.

      • Don –

        So the next time a sponsor comes to you and says pitch this powder that really does nothing, but we’re claiming it will make you lose 50 pounds in 10 days – You’re going to go to your boss and say
        “Boss – I am not doing that ad… ”
        Boss will say –
        “Don – Do you like your paycheck? ”
        Don will say
        “Yes – I do – where’s the script and studio.”

        There’s a talk DJ in town that pitches cars for a dealership owned by the family of a certain major league catcher – and he is one of that catcher’s biggest critics – if principles were so important to either – the family or the jock – neither would allow the commercial to be aired, but on they go…

        Principles are great – but they don’t pay the bills.
        And it is far easier to say that you shouldn’t do this shot even if the clients request it when you’re not the one getting paid for it and doing the shoot.

        As for the photo itself – I get the high contract / lack of detail in the clothing. The skin looks like it was over smoothing in Portrait Pro or Portraiture.

        And yes – I kind of like the idea of having dad’s stomach next to mom and baby.

        Is it a shot for all? Nope – but nothing is.


      • Anonymous

        The difference is that the dj doesn’trun the station.the station manager could most definitely say no to the ad.

      • High Horsie – you’re just proving that you’re nothing more than a commodity. Who lets clients run his/her business.
        You (well, maybe not you but professional photographers) are the experts. We have our own style. And no, I will absolutely not put out crap like that with my name attached to it … client demand or not. It’s my brand, my style that I control and that clients pay a premium for. Anybody looking for less will go where they get …well, less for less. And we’re both happy. Any photographer worth their money is not just a warm body with a camera who will do as clients ask.

      • Glad to see so many people with integrity for the business. Don, I’m with you … if I was a pro, I wouldn’t want my name attached to this abomination.

      • You did miss one major point…Kelli says she WOULDN’T have done spot color. Just sayin’.

      • High Horsie

        Kat and Angela – you can both continue to protect the integrity of this “art” all you want. If you can get a client to pay a premium, then more power to you.

        As far as I’m concerned, this is a business. I’m in it to make money – not art. I’ll take whatever picture they want, as long as the price is right.

        So while you two pass on all of these “abominations,” I’ll gladly pick up the scraps.

        I’m sure there are so many people banging down the door for your $5000 maternity shoots and $10000 weddings, that you can afford to turn away all the other clients that don’t share your artistic vision.

      • If people are paying $5000 for this crap, I’m in the wrong business.

      • Good point. I misread. I’d still refuse to do something like this if I took photos for a living. Isn’t the photographer supposed to tell the subjects how to pose?

        Obviously it can be done with more tact than “this is stupid”. Perhaps a “I have an idea, let’s try this!” instead.

      • Absolutely, Don.

      • Anonymous

        Photographers are very different.

        Sometime clients want specific composition and when you’re a young professional/ associate, you should know not to let your personal feelings get in the way when you accept the job.

        In fact, in the professional world, you will often have clients who have very specific demands right down to camera settings lighting setup and output space. There is nothing that keeps you from introducing your own style and including “your shots” from a shoot, but it’s up to the client to decide on the final product they want.

        As for publishing your own work, you (this can also depend on the specifics of the contract but in general…) should likely only put out shots you’re very comfortable with and perhaps show more than just the technique; ie your style. I believe that’s where a photographers’ style shines through and not necessarily taking “only the shots you want to”… That privilege is only reserved for a handful of photographers who are considered the absolute best in the world. Even they take in the clients input to begin to form a vision of the final work.

        Please don’t follow this up by saying that those are the only true professionals because I’ve heard this before from a non photographer, and I replied with “that’s like saying Einstein was the only scientist, Edison the only inventor and Da Vinci the only artist”.

        As for the image. Not my style, way too harsh on the colors – probably would have presented a better done black and white, maybe explored more with poses and clothing.. That is something I would have pressed with the client. Still, wouldn’t be my first choice to publish on a site.

  8. Buncha prudes on this site. It isn’t that bad. 😐

    • Thomas

      It isn’t prudish to point out a less than good photo idea. I have to agree with Don, it is dumb and can see why a photographer wouldn’t want his/her name attached to such a shot.

  9. Hexahelicene

    I am not as bothered by the pose as some. If it is right for the couple, so be it. The photo lacks skin detail in the light areas and the clothing has no detail at all. Perhaps the high contrast was a choice, but if you have control of saturation why nuke fine line details in the low key areas.

    My 3 cents.

  10. When will these idiots realize that grey skin next to selectively colored clothing makes the subject look like they’ve just been dug up?

    • I agree! I feel like that is the easiest way to spot a feuxtog, all their clients look dead from poor b&w conversion spot coloring where the skin is left gray.

  11. On a side note, upon first look, the baby bump looked like a person with a tail’s butt.

  12. LOL…OH YA…LOL.

  13. Would be OK if the jeans were removed. As it is, it looks like they are having a quickie.
    Agree with one of the above comments, when I first looked I thought the women was bending over the other way, took a second for the bellybutton to register.

  14. O.K. let’s just say the photog did this solely for their client, because the customer is always right (and people always request odd editing, because they know so much about it all). Why then, would it end up in their professional portfolio? I highly doubt this tog felt creatively compromised while making this photo into too undead zombies getting it on. If that were the case, we would have never saw it, and only the clients would have proof that it existed. no, this tog was proud of this image.
    Yes, people do sometimes request selective color. A good reply wouldn’t be “Sorry I don’t do that because it’s stupid”, but maybe more like this “I’ll be happy to do that for you, but I don’t recommend it (and why). How about if I edit your photos they way I feel they should be done, and after seeing the finished images, if you still want me to use selective color on some of their poses, a can do that for you, for a small fee.” Then, you keep it secret if they still want their pictures turned into mullets. Chances are they won’t though, that IS only if you are a good photographer and know how to create a pleasing image. Fauxtogs may be stuck turning photos into mullets until they get bored pretending they are photographers and move on to something else they feel they can make easy money at.

  15. Regarding the pose…it’s trashy.

    Regarding the photo – it’s awful. The editing is terrible, and looks like it was done in an iphone app. If this was representative of a photographer’s portfolio, no way would I hire him/her.

  16. All these years of trying to get faces in my pictures and now I find out that I was completely wrong….

    Guess I’ll start doing something else.

    • Completely depends on what you are trying to convey with your photos – some of the best wedding photos I’ve seen don’t have anyone’s face in them and they still convey the emotion of the day.

      Same with Maternity photos – sometimes it’s what is not in the photo.

      Completely different than sports shooting where you want the ball / stick / puck / whatever + the face.


  17. Wsroadrunner

    Shots like this make me miss the good ol days when a woman would start to show and start in with “I’m fat and ugly” and cover up. LOL

    Yes, I’m being sarcastic, but this shot is bad…

  18. I’ll at least give kudos for their pants technically being on, if not done up. But this is way too suggestive for what I assume is supposed to be a nice little pregnancy shot.

  19. I would have had them drop trou.

  20. I. Hate. Shadows. Say what you want about the coloring, the mood of the pose or whatever else. But WHY do people put shit out there with shadows where they shouldn’t be? It makes me nuts!

  21. george hilbish

    I thought it was a fag fucking another fag in the ass….

  22. don’t post comments like “gross” “ewww” “this is shit” etc…
    state only your general opinion and you’re just another viewer who knows nothing about photography but appreciates or disapproves with this or any other photo

    comment what you like but please BIG PLEASE write a few more words WHY you don’t like what you see in a professional way like
    if the pose is wrong to you then how would you make them pose?

    please i’m an amateur and i came here to learn a bit more
    what do i learn when the only argument is “ew”

    p.s. sorry for my english if i made mistakes not my native language

  23. you’re learning in the wrong place

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