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Scary Floating Belly

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The font says 1990s gansta. The large belly in the middle of the photo looks like a beer belly to me. She’s carrying a gangsta in her beer belly, only explanation I can come up with.

64 Comments
  1. lexluger10 says:

    fucking weird.

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  2. deva says:

    Fucking weird and under-exposed. One thing this (and many other) bad photos bring up are issues of socio-economic class, access, education, etc. But, since I’m not getting a PhD, I’ll leave that line of thought to someone else.

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    • You Are Not a Photog says:

      I can follow your thought process with that. It’s valid, but a total can of worms to open on this blog, or anywhere outside of an academic discussion.

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    • Sadie says:

      I do agree with this although I’m inclined not to for the simple reason you used “are” instead of “our.” But yes, I still do get asked by a few people, “like, are you expensive? Or like, can you just do the pictures and put them on a CD for 20 bucks?” There really does seem to be a time and place and,um, economic class for

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      • Sadie says:

        Yep, I’m officially an idiot. I read that wrong and I apologize. I could blame my stupidity on my smartphone…but yea, I can’t….. :)

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      • umm, it is supposed to be “are”, otherwise it would be a badly formed sentence.

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      • Tami says:

        Actually, the subject is “One thing” therefore, it would be “is” rather than “are”. The fact that there is a parenthetical phrase in between which is a plural does not change the verb tense of the main subject.

        All that aside, I don’t get the whole “photographing your pregnant belly” fad at ALL. It’s embarrassing and usually very unattractive.

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  3. Derp says:

    Disembodied belly looks like a football being passed from player to player. Bellies should never be disembodied.

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  4. Kerri says:

    It also doesn’t help that the ad showing below the picture on my phone reads “FIX YOUR THYROID = LOSE WEIGHT”. Hee hee.

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  5. Lynn says:

    This probably isn’t the main point here, but what is killing me is they did all of the manipulation to make this horror, but couldn’t be bothered to remove the veins, stretch marks, and pregnancy tummy line.

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    • someone says:

      I am NOT defending this picture in any way, it sucks, but there are some mommies out there that celebrate their stretch marks, etc. and prefer them left in.

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      • Judi says:

        I understand that, but what drives me nuts is, photographers who will charge more money to edit crap like this out of the photograph, so a lot of people will just opt to leave it in. We aren’t working with negatives any more, and to ‘fix’ this take all of about 20 seconds. To charge anyone 10.00 per photo per edit is robbery. Unless we are talking braces, which takes an extensive skill set and talent to be able to do well, which I think most of us do charge for. But unless someone specifically asks to have the stretch marks left alone (I have yet to have one person do this, and have done over 100 maternity sessions) edit them out. They are unflattering, and especially so when you are making the belly the primary focus.

        That being said, this is a horrible photograph. From lighting, to editing, to slopping it together through photoshop (I am sure Adobe isn’t too thrilled to see their program being used like this) there isn’t much in this worth saving.

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  6. MW says:

    The ad on my computer says “5 foods to never eat: Cut down a bit of stomach fat everyday by not eating these five foods” and has a flash image of a banana browning. I find it funny because not only does the photo make me lose my appetite, but the pose/wardrobe choice makes her look like she’s gearing up for the next Biggest Loser.

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  7. Jeffssis says:

    I don’t care if your black, white, purple, tall, short, thin, fat, beautiful, average or homely. I DO NOT want to see your pregnant belly. Seen one-seen em all.

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  8. Jen says:

    Ewwww!

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  9. Wsroadrunner says:

    The ragged chop lines around her are such a special touch. Maybe when the baby’s born he’ll do a gansta drive by on the fauxtog?

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  10. Cranky Catholic says:

    Could be worse … like … heart hands around the birth canal.

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  11. dave says:

    Done right, maternity photos can be a beautiful thing, a reminder of a very special time in the family.

    This however conveys all the emotion and beauty of a rap song. Zero.

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    • John says:

      I would like to see some examples of “good” pictures of bellies. Can someone please give some examples? I really mean it, I just can’t picture a good way to take these shots.

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      • We all have seen beautiful pictures of pregnant women, (and pictures of beautiful pregnant women), but this isn’t one of them. As for just the belly on its on, probably not.

        While I don’t wish to return to the days when pregnant women went into seclusion, I fear that virtually nothing is sacred anymore.

        Then again, if this is a “gangsta” photograph, it’s probably pretty good.

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      • Miki says:

        http://www.julieharrisphotography.com/maternity-pregnancy-photos.html

        Here’s a good link for anyone who is interested in maternity pics to look at…they are technically beautiful, are tasteful, and don’t require a studio or fancy equipment to do. Even a fauxtog could do this if they tried. =) They aren’t the best, but they are down to earth. I just googled these guys too, so venture out to google, they aren’t too scary ;D

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  12. Turd Ferguson says:

    This is the worst photo collage I’ve ever seen.

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  13. Libby says:

    Don’t vilify the subject. She is who she is. It’s the alleged photographer who should be taken out to the shed for this one.

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  14. NicCole says:

    The photos of her in full view aren’t that bad. It’s the vast difference in color between *her* and the center belly that confuse me. It’s like it’s two different people? Why would someone want that?

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  15. She’s pregnant? Did he have to kiss her, too?

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  16. Andrew Mills says:

    Take the p*ss out of the photo, but let’s not turn into low-life bullies by taking the p*ss out of the subject and how they look.

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    • spike says:

      RIGHT SAID! And why/how in hell is this “gangsta”? Couldn’t have anything to do with….oh, I dunno…….prejudice? I mean if she was throwing up some gang signs or bustin’ a cap in someone’s ass, the conclusion could safely be made,….but seriously? If she was Asian, would the description say she’s trying to look all mathematically gifted? If she was white, would the description say she’s just trying to look all soccer-mom?

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      • Josh B says:

        It has nothing to do with prejudice. Read the caption: The font says 1990s gansta. The large belly in the middle of the photo looks like a beer belly to me. She’s carrying a gangsta in her beer belly, only explanation I can come up with.”
        People are only taking the tongue-in-cheek comments and running with them.

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      • Miki says:

        Noooo….they aren’t making fun of the model (I hope) but the font. Haven’t you seen every mans shirt in walmart has this font on it, because they’re trying to look gangster? lol…I hope it’s not the model, otherwise that’s just mean. But Old English font has turned into the typical street font. =)

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  17. BurninBiomass says:

    “Thats no moon”

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  18. She looks like a very happy/proud mom-to-be. Too bad this is the picture that she has to show for it.

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  19. Gina says:

    I am sooooo over the heart on the belly pics. It’s been done…move on. This whole collage is terrible..terrible. At least she’s not floating in a cognac glass. The gansta font is ridiculous!

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  20. teeko says:

    Why do people insist on a naked belly? When you are this pregnant, it shows through a shirt. It’s nothing to hide, but neither is a birth defect. Still, you don’t make it the focal point.
    Can they not take photos of a glowing, happy, excited mom-to-be in a natural setting?
    Then again, do you sometimes wonder if the mom-to-be asked for something like this and the fauxtog did what bad hair stylists do and just gave it to her, regardless of whether or not it was right?

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    • Miki says:

      Not sure if my comment will be appropriate or not…but it seems like what you’re saying is that the mom to be asked for a black background and a collage? I guess that’s true, but the selections around her were clearly bad, you can see pieces of the background around her in all of the different images, and how they took the photo’s (lighting and such) isn’t the best for manipulation. It’s doable, they just need to learn how to really do it.

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  21. Ian says:

    Why are her bra straps showing in almost every picture?

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  22. Rachel says:

    My only complaint about this website is that you don’t post a million more pictures every day. You have no idea how much I check back here for much-needed laughs. :D

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  23. diane says:

    All I can say is WTH
    Take a class

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  24. Shiznit1984 says:

    The only thing I think looking at this is how badly I want to give this poor sweetie a foot massage. Her ankles and feet look really swollen.

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  25. Lizz says:

    How about we update the blog now…? What happened to a new post every day?

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  26. Dave says:

    either they’re on vacation, busy actually shooting, or busy dealing with issues from previous posts… or none of the above…

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  27. melissa says:

    Heeeel-ooooo! Where are you YANAP?

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  28. Kelly says:

    I realized I hadn’t visited this site in a few days, I just laughed so hard, I started coughing, got dizzy and nearly fell out of my chair!! Wow. Can you imagine what this babies’ newborn photos are going to look like? Poor baby.

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  29. Anonymous says:

    Please put up a new posting. This “photo” is so bad it honestly scares and makes me cringe.

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  30. Rachel says:

    So sad that there aren’t any new posts lately.

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  31. teeko says:

    Not only no new posts, but not a peep from the site owners? :(

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    • I finally find a blog I wanna read, and it semi-disappears. But, I have no doubt; keeping a blog up is hard work. Also, the site owners may have had a lawyer tell them they’ve been naughty.

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      • Sara says:

        On Facebook a couple of weeks ago, they put up a post that they were selling the site. I checked it this last friday and the post was gone. So, there’s no telling what they’re doing.

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      • So. Someone give me a link to the Facebook site, please.

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      • someone says:

        God they should sell it and be done with it, seriously worste web managers ever. You can pre-schedule posts, it’s not rocket science and not that hard.

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  32. Very strange.

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  33. Alex says:

    Great post.

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