You Are Not a Photographer - Bad Photography Blog

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Choke Hold

We wanted to put up the next photo in this series that shows the infant being body slammed, but we thought that might be too much for our fans. Obviously the baby lost this round.

  1. anonymous says:

    For the love of everything that’s holy, this photo terrifies me. That poor child. Just because you can buy a cute hat and diaper cover does NOT mean you should attempt these. It looks like a very bad attempt at what was supposed to be a composite.


  2. Tracy says:

    Comment “Oh this photo makes me sad” next to this photo….should give the fauxhog a hint….this is actually a nice pose to do with bubby when they’re ASLEEP or RELAXED….how and why this photographer decided to watermark this struggle with the baby is not a very good advertisement.


  3. RangerBob says:

    The comment on the photo says it all… lol


  4. Open Focus Broken Focus says:

    OMG! My friend’s cousin out of state had photos done and they snapped a shot of the baby burping and it looked like this. Strangely enough, more of these photos that are similar to this one are popping up left and right. I mean, maybe it’s “Mommy/Daddy’s first burping” and I GUESS I kind of get why you would want this documented, but isn’t there a more flattering shot? Wouldn’t from the side make better sense?

    With the chin in the upper left it almost looks like he’s going to chuck the baby out of the window…but I have a vivid imagination half the time I look at these photos anyway. *hops off soapbox*


  5. Shannon says:

    Plus it’s horribly off color. Jaundice baby!


  6. LOLZ says:

    You will EAT THE CEREAL AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!


  7. Philip says:

    I’ve been following the links to You’re Not a Photographers via FB for a year or so now and, in addition to being appalled, I always wonder, what in the world makes these people think they are photographers and, worse, who actually hires these people to take photos? Did the alleged photographer take a nice photo one time and someone say, “Nice picture. You should be a photographer.” I’ve been working a professional photographer, in military and industrial settings, for more than 25 years and everyone who has a camera takes a nice photo every so often. A professional takes nice photos almost all that time. Someone needs to tell these fauxtographers to stop.


    • michael says:

      there’s seems to be a school of belief that just because you have a dSLR you a professional…

      I have had a dSLR for over 5 years and I still don’t consider myself a professional. I’m not – I’m just some guy with a camera that every now and then takes good photos…


  8. Say What? says:

    Whaaaaaaattttttt the heck?!? Wow, this makes me sad too…what a terrible photo, it should not even be in existence. Who posts this stuff???


  9. Gina says:

    Cute baby though….


  10. BurninBiomass says:

    “No Baby Bond, I expect you to cry!”


  11. MP says:

    It’s just another death metal cd cover. The logo is so cool, it’s a cover band for Brujeria’s Matando Gueros.


  12. Gal with a Camera says:

    OMG! I agree with the commenter… this photo makes me sad. :/
    And it ALSO makes me want to slap the photographer in the face! And whoever is holding that poor baby’s head!!!!
    Goodness, why would you even think this was a good idea?! THE KID IS IN PAIN! If this was taken as an advertisement showing how children are abused, they did a great job. Idiots.


    • Melissa says:

      This photo is terible, I will give you that, but its doubtful that the baby is in pain. That baby is upset and crying and being supported like you do when you burp a newborn.


      • RealWedTog says:

        Agreed. It is a newborn crying while being burped. Not sure why on earth the fauxtog would snap this. Even more confused as to why on earth they’d slap their logo on it and post it to FB. Dumbass.


      • Frankie says:

        Looking at the other photos from this person, the baby is not happy and is being posed unsuccessfully. Why do people need to try these baby poses anyway. Keep it simple, and represent a NB for what they are, innocent and beautiful not as a doll to bend and twist.


  13. dez says:

    I literally just yelled “what the f%$k!”


  14. I tried really hard to figure out what that logo says so I could see the body slam picture.


  15. C.C. says:

    WOW, I was so stuck on starring (like you do at a train wreck) at that poor bubba, I totally missed that the fauxtog even managed to squeeze a set of duck lips into the shot… 2 for 1?


  16. TheAmandanator says:

    OMG horrible pose, goes without saying, but as someone who crochets for a living the hat is well made! So bonus points for whoever made it! LOL Someone did SOMETHING right here!


  17. MomOfTwo says:

    So, usually I am appalled at the photos on this site, but this seems to be a stretch. Obviously this is an outtake, not a pose or composite gone wrong. I bet they were taking a little eating/burping break and photog snapped a photo. Sometimes I include outtakes in my client’s gallery, too. I probably wouldn’t watermark it and include it in my portfolio (okay, I know I wouldn’t…) but still, it’s hardly accurate to judge this person as a fauxtog based on this photo alone. I suppose it could look like the baby is “in pain”, but really…this is a pretty normal way to hold a newborn while burping them. The baby was likely upset for some other reason (i.e. needing to burp) and not because he was in a “choke hold”.


  18. Anna in Indiana says:

    My first thought: IT’S BABY MAO! He’s back!!


  19. Astoria says:



  20. FS says:

    I don’t understand the so called modern art at all.
    You people should reconsider what you are doing.
    Doing this as a job you have no value at all for the community.
    Get a life!


  21. WarPossum101 says:

    Smile, damn you, smile!!!!!


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