They’ve Got Balls


Wedding apparel in walmart? Certainly a portfolio worthy shot! The big blue balls and bicycles give it a nice feel.

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41 Comments

  1. I hope they didn’t pay more than the “Everyday Low Price” of $119 for their photos.

  2. Carrie

    Possibly the worst wedding picture ever.

  3. Amber

    I’m speechless!

  4. Maybe they both work at Walmart. I’ve seen photos of people actually getting married in the store with customers wandering around, gawking at the ceremony. It’s bizarre for sure. However, I saw a program on CMT called “My Big Redneck Wedding.” That was an eye-opener. This photo can’t hold a candle to the wedding set-ups featured on that program.

    • LIPhotoguy

      Yes – odd, bizarre, out and out f-ink ridiculous weddings happen ever single day.

      Rarely does one make it into a photographers portfolio, even more rare would be a professional photographer using an image such as the above in their portfolio.

      Perhaps they do work at Walmart, perhaps that photographer does as well. Perhaps the photographer should not call themselves a “Pro” when clearly they are not.

    • Isabel

      Yes, I agree with LLPhotoguy….even though this couple may have met at Walmart, why would the photographer show this in their portfolio? As mean and as stuck up as this sounds, I only show nice weddings I do. All the “redneck” ones don’t make it onto my site. Sure I’ll do a facebook album and tag people…but even so, I wouldn’t show a LOT of the ugliness. Like this photo…

  5. Amanda

    This is undeniably bad, but is anybody else distrubed by the fact she’s hold her shoes? She’s barefoot in WalMart. Gross!

  6. Helen Megginson

    Oh for crying out loud! That’s tacky! WHat are they trying to say??

    • ithurtswhenipee

      They are trying to say, “Pro wedding photography in isle 6 – $29.99”.

  7. FalconGTHO

    Yes, clearly “married at Wal Mart” either because they both work there or thats where they met. “People of Wal Mart…”

  8. Travis

    For some reason, the tattoo bugs me. Either show it completely or cover it, but don’t leave half of it sticking out.

    • FalconGTHO

      Ahh, nothing says “trailer park” louder and prouder than a tat on the tit. Let the flames begin. Heh.

    • Capt. Obvious

      It’s always the classy ones with the breast tattoos…….

    • I’ve shot weddings where the maid of honor or the bride’s maids had breast tattoos showing. I always ask the bride (Away from the wedding party) do you want them shown or edited out? Some are cool with them showing, others want them edited out for grandma’s sake.

  9. They have balls… Blue… Blue balls… Yeah.

  10. I met my husband at Walmart ( a small country store, not one of those big creepy bleh ones)… would I have had a ceremony there? NO… Taken pictures there?… NO

    We only had an intimate dessert reception mid-afternoon… Since we didn’t dissappear off to a honeymoon immediately following, later that night, we went to dinner with a few friends & family… We went to Chili’s(my husband’s favorite place , I know he is so refined)… just the 2 of us did stay in our finery… just for fun… did we have the photographer with us?… NO… were there some silly shots? Of course… but NEVER would they have been listed as “professional photography” shots… they were cellphone silliness… and the waitress got a kick out of it… we got a free appetizer… and she got a great tip…

  11. I was thinking the same thing. I have two tattoos (one on the shoulderblade and one on the wrist) and when I get married I will have them both completely showing, not just half showing. This picture is horrible on so many levels. If they’re going to do wedding pictures at Wal-Mart, at least have them doing something fun like riding one of those pink bikes down the aisle or tossing the balls back and forth. They could have done something creative instead of just standing there looking dumb and holding blue balls.

  12. I think they are saying….Wal-Mart gives them blue balls?

  13. Nothing wrong with getting married at Walmart. Nothing wrong with shooting a wedding at Walmart. What’s wrong here is that it’s a horrible photo, unflattering, and why the hell is it in anyone’s port? If you’re forced to take a shot like this, you hide it from everyone.

    • Melissa R.

      Yeah, yeah there is something wrong with getting married at Walmart. And with shooting a wedding at Walmart. I have been outspoken about not bashing subjects, here….but seriously, this client/photographer relationship seems pretty well matched.

      • Melissa R.

        Please excuse the extra comma after “subjects.”

      • Hey, if a bunch of hillbillies want to get married at Walmart, let em. If I were a photographer, I sure wouldn’t take the gig.

  14. Hollie

    Is this the same bride that was taking a crap in the photo earlier?

  15. Cranky Catholic

    This just looks like a photo taken by the mother-in-law and her point-and-shoot. This hardly looks like fauxtography.

    If you’re going to call this blog You Are Not A Photographer, then prove the picture taker is pretending to be one.

    • ithurtswhenipee

      All the pictures posted here are from “photography business” facebook pages.

      • Cranky Catholic

        It isn’t apparent.

      • BurninBiomass

        They remove (or try to) remove anything referring to the photographers personal or company name. They always take images from those claiming to be paid photographers.

        To show you proof, they have to tell you who the photog is.

    • Catholicker

      Why does every second or third photo have some genius commenting “this isn’t really a fauxtographer”? Are you trying to sound sneaky or smart? If you don’t believe these are from actual portfolios then nobody is forcing you to come here moron.

      • Cranky Catholic

        To show proof let’s see a A redacted watermark or facebook album, or website screen capture. That makes it apparent. This image has no redaction. So for all we know it is someone’s Facebook photo.

        By the way, I am forced to come here. It is another government mandate.

  16. And the concept is?

    • LIPhotoguy

      Get married – BAREFOOT – in Walmart – get blue balls.

      End of story.

  17. spike

    Maybe the concept is “blue balls and the town bicycle”?

    I feel bad for thinking so, but I too thought that might be the same lady that looked like she was dropping a deuce in her dress earlier.

    But enough about the bride. Her dress still seems to fit her better than the groom’s suit.

  18. Yes, this is a tacky photo, but you do realize that those of you who share links to their own portfolios can be criticized, too! Right, Victoria–Washington Boudoir Photographer?

    • David Gutierrez

      You are right S S. Every photo can be critiqued. There is always going to be somebody that finds something they don’t like about a photo. I don’t like cut off limbs in a photo. Sometimes it works. If there is an elbow or knee in the photo, the hand or foot should be seen. That is the rule I go by. With that being said, here is a snobby comment…

      This is just bad. Why would somebody to that in their photo. She looks like she is going to need hooks for her hands. Why is there some scary clown in the background? Did he eat her hands? He looks like he is coming back for seconds.

  19. I once had a nightmare about the apocolypse, but it still looked better.

  20. Janet

    Besides the bad composition, just what is the couple/fautox trying to connote with “two blue balls”???

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