The Perfect Fauxtog

I’m intrigued by this stool theme you mentioned in your add, you’re hired!

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  1. I bet she is holding back a fart cause women don’t fart. So if she is slim all of a sudden you will be disgusted to know why.

  2. You should try another self-shot… With a gun this time, that is.

  3. “get you some done” …. oh my, what a shame. This looks like a bad, really, really, really bad porn movie cover from the late 70s.

  4. Is this serious?

  5. “… a freelance photographer that would love to shoot you …” – that is some bizarre wording. Not exactly friendly to a prospective customer. Then you’ve got “Theme’s [sic] you want weather [sic] its [sic] color background,props,stool,bench,outdoors [sic – for all the missing spaces] …”.
    And then “… please be serious and on time …” – they are admonishing their customers before they’re even customers. Sheesh! What a way to scare off business. That is, if the look in the woman’s face in the photo doesn’t get to you first.

    • I wonder if they are reading your comment thinking you’re calling them sic. And thinking sic is probably the correct spelling for trying to say something is awesome and amazing. Maybe her first failed attempt at a career was as a writer. She moved on to photography because she DO IT BETTER.

      • Snappy

        I don’t know ‘weather’ to laugh or cry!

      • That’s ‘two’ funny, ‘your’ really spot on ‘their’ 🙂

  6. Edhbladman

    What’s with the hand coming out of her right side anyway? Its disconnected from her body and looks like some kind of appendage. Review the image in the viewfinder before you shoot. That’s what they are designed for.

  7. Roxanne

    Hooooly shit this is awful.

  8. Jilly Jay

    Is she flashing a gang sign with her other hand or is she demonstrating how much she really knows about photography?

  9. Kibichi

    WOW! I didn’t know Mimi from The Drew Carey Show had a ghetto fauxtog twin!

  10. Spell check! Aside from that, the first thing that came to my mind was, “I’m sexy and I know it!”

  11. BurninBiomass

    Ok, I wanna change my tag line to “Get you some done” now.

  12. holy fark.

  13. Why is she lit from behind, with the shadows in front of her????? Useless fauxtogs know nothing! And as for the camera angle of the shot…………………………well, it is just horrid.

  14. Pelham

    I think we should all chip in and buy the poor model a neck.

  15. At lest the ad has propir speling, and gramer,

  16. Snappy

    The MySpace angle really brings out her eyes. I also like how her one visible hand is poised for a bitch slap.

  17. I bet she took the photo herself since her other arm is missing. lol

  18. Is that a nipple peeking out?

    • Gal with a Camera

      OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!! I sure hope not… but it does look like it… EEEK!

  19. Dawn Jensen

    Hey, that wide angle lens can sure come in handy.

  20. Her packages start at $30, eeek I guess she really shouldn’t be charging any more, but you get one photo. Why in the world would you waste time even doing a photo shoot for one photo, it’s just weird.


  22. Crappy photography aside (and OH how crappy it is), WHO seriously presents themselves as a paid service with that kind of grammar!? Run on sentences, rogue apostrophes, incorrect homophones, a lack of acquaintance with the space bar… I would smack this person for commenting on a blog post, much less attempting to present themselves as a professional anything! Does no one have shame anymore?!

    • Pelham

      Themswudbthekindwhseztheraphotog…and, no 🙂

    • Jenn, I agree! The entire ad makes her look SO unprofessional!!
      The crappy spelling and grammar screams “I have no proper education and therefore can’t find a decent job, so I’m gonna run my own ‘business’!!!”

  23. I was aware that the weather played some part in lighting and composition. However, I’m not sure whether this idiot is competent enough with the English language to know that they used the wrong ‘Weather’.

    Common indicators for Mental Midgetry.

    Weather vs Whether.
    Your vs You’re
    To vs Too vs Two
    His vs He’s
    There vs Their vs They’re
    Our vs Hour
    Here vs Hear
    Want vs Won’t
    Its vs It’s
    s vs ‘s in general.

    Etc, etc.

    • Don’t forget know vs no vs now and where vs were vs wear
      I see those A LOT!!!

  24. I wish I could un-see this

  25. Ooooooh man. I thought I recognized this. One quick local craigslist search and voila. Bad day for my city. 🙁

  26. Pelham

    *lightbulb moment* Oooh I get it now! She’s a fauxtog using herself as a model to advertise her services….and maybe so she can count herself as both when she tries to get on Model Mayhem!! 🙂

  27. …because everyone knows that a topshot will always make a big woman slimmer! ugh!

  28. You mean to tell me Tammy Faye Baker is a black woman when she removes her make-up?

  29. no one is going to mention that YANAP used “add” instead of “ad”? that one bugs me…

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