Soiled Sheet And Mountain Dew

Seriously, she didn’t even bother to set down her drink? I guess the fauxtog did use a soiled and wrinkled sheet as the backdrop. I really don’t think they could have put less effort into this.

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  1. What part of a human thinks this is a good idea to put on their “photography” page? (or the internet in general?)

  2. Come on now. Maybe the sheet is not soiled, she is a breast feeding Mom and it just squirted on the sheet a bit.

  3. FentonDude

    I’m sure it’s just the factory fading in her jeans, but it seems the only light source is centered on her butt!

  4. Call it irony, but when I came to look at the photo, the following ad appeared: “House Smell Like Urine?
    Eliminate All Urine Odor from Your Fabrics and Carpet with FebrezeĀ®.” Maybe it was the combination of “soiled and wrinkled sheet” and “Mountain Dew” that led the ad gods to let me know about Febreze but I thought it was pretty funny.
    OK, nasty sheet, shadows on the face, out of focus … what’s not to like?

    • THAT IS NOT IRONY. YOU FUCK. It’s coincidence.
      Please learn the difference. If you continue your deliberate ignorance don’t procreate.

      • Please learn how to correctly use punctuation, you fuck. It’s called a comma. If you continue being an asshole for no discernible reason, (<< hey look, another comma!!) don't procreate.

  5. That’s just sad and horrible.
    Dear girl in photo, I will make a good portrait of you! No Mountain Dew and no used jizz sheet. And the light won’t be focused on the lower half of the photo leaving the subject of the photo (YOU) completely underexposed. I’d be terribly embarrassed to show this.

  6. Environmental portrait…she used to be in soiled sheets thus she is in her environment…drinking a pop in recently soiled, wrinkled sheets.

    Just sick….

  7. Don’t forget she’s also the color of an Oompa Loompa.

  8. pixeldawg

    I am kinda amazed that she didn’t even iron the sheet, either. folds, wrinkles and stain are all there! Amazing.

  9. TheCollector

    You’re all overlooking the obvious. This is a super High budget Mountain Dew Ad.
    Looks like her love for Mountain Dew did a number on her teeth.

  10. They made her jaw look huge (or at least they could have posed her where it minimized the jaw) and one of her eyes are either missing or black and blue.

  11. hellen keller must’ve accidentally bumped the like button….

  12. i was afraid to look at this photo just because of the title.

    i wish i had held onto that fear.

  13. My issue with these “professional photography studios ” is that they actually expect to ne paid for the shitty product.

    • Problem is they sell it all on CD, and for nothing because as it’s just a part time job they do, as they are so ‘passionate”!
      When i get enquires now to my studio, the first question is what are your charges? Because a friend of a friend had a shoot and they only charged $XX and we got all 500 photos on CD, i then think what quality of work did you buy- now i see it on this site!

  14. What gets me is that this is one of her featured senior pictures. How bad did the others have to turn out for this one to make the cut?

    • I’m with you Jen – makes me afraid to ask what they looked like… No clue with posing, lighting, exposure….

      I hope she didn’t pay for these…

  15. This photo makes me sad – I understand that people are on a budget and this faux-tog probably charges $25 with 50 images on a CD. But would it kill her to just sit this gal down on a bench at a park? Or in an alley, a bridge, a field, downtown sitting by a building, by a fence, next to a window, some train tracks, by a tree, leaned on a lamp post, on a dock, on a dirt road…you can’t tell me this was the only location to work with. Sheesh….sad…

  16. Angela MacIsaac (@that_angela)

    I can’t stop laughing. This is so awesome.

  17. The first thought to cross my mind was that she was lactating but I see I wasn’t the only one…

  18. “Huny you put down that there shotgun an get the camera, I gone be a model jus like honey boo booooooo!”

  19. is it me or does it seem faketogs spend more time and effort creating their watermark than they do learning how to use their camera?

  20. “Mah Go-Go-Juice is gawnna help me wi-i-in!”

  21. Crapola bg, unintentionally hilarious product placement and lighting (or lack thereof) aside, could this pic have been any worse? The model’s hair hides half her face and helps to accentuate her jawline, which is made even more prominent by her clenched mouth and sloppy posture. Her body looks completely shapeless, which isn’t help by the 3/4 crop…guess the fauxtog couldn’t get back far enough to get her all in the frame.

    • She does seem a bit distorted. Maybe the room was so small the ‘tog had to use the lens at wide-angle, which (I hope) in part explains why the model’s head looks a bit oddly shaped. As for the facial expression and the position of her leg, if I didn’t know this was an attempt at studio photography, I’d swear it was a snapshot of a girl drinking a Dew boilermaker and caught by snapshot just a split second before walking smack into the wall.

  22. Being from San Francisco, I can only ask “Isn’t this a crossdressed man?”

  23. The funny thing is the girl in the picture went to my high school.

  24. Hmm, I’m not seeing distortion at the edges which would make me think wide-angle. I have an 18-200mm and it doesn’t distort at the wide end, but naturally my 10-20mm does. I think her head is naturally quite long and the terrible lighting/hair/pose just make it look even longer :-/

  25. Erun Cristine

    i think this pic is ril good

  26. Nevermind her face, look at her hand! Isn’t there a joint (or two) missing from each finger??

  27. This is one of those images you see on someones page and they say it was a commercial shoot for the product.
    This image would have been perfect if it was done totally differently.

    • Uh….don’t think so. I worked in Advertising for several years and have done some commercial photography, and the product IS the shot, front and centre. No way could you take a shot like this and say it’s an ad for Mountain Dew. No frickin way. Even in college during the very basic Photo 101 course we took, we did product-shot assignments and nothing like this would have got by. (And we shot in film.)

      Besides, it’s listed under the Senior Pictures section of the port, and imho fauxtogs rarely, if ever, do commercial shots. Vanity work (weddings, engagements, maternity, infant and family portraits) are their weapon of choice.

      • I think that was sarcasm. lol. Would have been perfect if it was done totally different…meaning holy eff, wtf, basically. lol

  28. Must have been shot with a $26,000 Hasselblad.

  29. Gal with a Camera

    …..seriously? I mean, SERIOUSLY?!?!? This has to be a joke.

  30. I like how they f****ed up the lighting, the pose, the background, the focus, the exposure, AND the framing. It’s so innovative to break down the barriers. I like how they attempted a rule of thirds composure and failed utterly. It’s like they’ve had no training, read no books, viewed no photos, and got a digital camera, and poof, they’re photographers.

  31. The sheet is the before shot, her posing is the after shot. *shudder*

  32. Cassiopia

    Clearly the girl was just pulled away from breastfeeding her infant. Maybe the photo was meant for an ad for a lactation consultant?

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