Sh*t Fauxtographers Say

We couldn’t resist posting this after our last post.

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  1. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.

  2. erm, yeah. So….reviewing shots after a shoot and mispronouncing “bokeh” makes a fauxtographer?

    • its called chimping and yeah – it kinda does. As long as you you have all your settings right and the shot framed correctly, unless you fuck it up majorly there is no reason to go through all the photos in the camera. You’ll get a better look at them through your PC during the editing process rather than a 3 inch x 3 inch screen. Duh.

      • Spoken like a new blood photographer, roughly a year or two into their career.

        Oh dear, the old “chimping” argument pops up again. I’m sorry, but my opinion is that the LCD is a tool and when used in moderation it’s probably the best reason for shooting digital.

        Now on one hand, if you’re stopping to look at the lcd after every shot, it becomes a problem, but AFTER the shoot? Some people have a little peek in their lcd to weed out the crap before checking them out on their workstation….really, nothing wrong with that and when I see occasional ‘chimping’ viewed in a negative light, it just sounds insecure. Not really a “duh” moment for me at all.

        It can be argued that ‘chimping’ may help prevent you from f’ing up in the first place. I carry a light meter, but it’s faster for me to meter in camera, take a test shot and adjust as necessary. God forbid a new blood ‘tog comes along and sees me actually looking at the lcd.

        When I shoot in studio, I’m tethered to my notebook and the images do pop up on the screen, so I guess that’s chimping as well? When I’m shooting during sunset and the light is changing every three minutes, I ‘chimp’ to save some time and adjust accordingly rather than take an incident meter every 30 seconds.

        Lazy photography? Nope, just more efficient.

        Sorry, but the whole video was bunk – “walk away from the camera, now walk towards it” – so what? Walk your happy ass at the camera and make that baby smile. What next, kissing or holding hands will be considered fauxtography too I suppose. Everyone needs to start shaking hands at their wedding ceremonies instead.

        On the same token, handing out business cards justifies having them in the first place. I hand out cards all the time to people – restaurants with crap photography on their websites, local businesses, people chatting about weddings – often I gain clients that way. If that makes me a fauxtographer too – meh, it’s a living and I likely won’t lose much sleep over it.

      • Yeah – really – A real photographer never tells a model what to do? Excuse me? that is what they are doing 100% of the time.

        Look this way – move that way – look like this…. etc… It’s part of the job people.

        Maybe one or two good zings in here…otherwise a bunch of bs.

        And any photographer that doesn’t look in the LCD at the shoot is wasting their time and the clients. You use the LCD to a) check your images b) show the client a sample c) if you’re not sure of a look or shot

  3. Thats awesome LMAO!!

  4. Meh. I hate bad Shit ____ Say vids. This one has maybe 2 comments that are even relevant or funny.

  5. HAHA Entertaining. Love the bit where “she” wiped the lens with her shirt. hahaha

  6. Well done, got the laugf and the point…..

  7. Wasn’t funny the first time. Why repost?
    I gotta cross-post to RHU so Freeman can get pissed at the nasty homophobic shtick.

  8. Virginia

    LOL! Funny 🙂 Homophobic? The guy is mocking SAHM-togs

  9. the only really awesome thing about the video was the first part where he gave some cheesy name and approached someone and the fact that FOTC was the background music 🙂

  10. ithurtswhenipee

    Funny, but about 2 minutes too long.

  11. Make fun of the fauxtogs if you must, but how about leaving the woman-hating out of it? That shit was ridiculously misogynistic.

    • I had the exact same response. If he’d switched male/female fauxtographer roles, it would have been just fine. Instead, he was just mocking women. Off putting.

      • I think the point they (brother/sister husband/wife – if you read the credits you see a female name – same last name as the “star”) is that in their eyes / mind – most Fauxtographers are women, MWC, or bored housewife who takes photos of the kids in the hood.

        I’ve been around enough to know that there are as many bad male photographers as female ones – maybe even more, but the female ones seem to get noticed more.

      • I agree. Most of the “Fauxtogs” are Moms with Cameras. The only thing they maybe should have added was Uncle Bob at someone’s wedding.

  12. Aubreywood Squares

    If there was humor in this vid I didn’t catch it. The only part that I thought was mildly funny was when “she” gave all those silly fauxtog names & wiped her lense with her shirt. There are so many ways this could have been funny but I was disappointed. And what was the point of he pretending to be a she? Just b/c you slap on a wig, have a 5 o’clock shadow and talk like a valley girl does not hilarity make.

  13. This was absolutely the worst video ever. So we are not supose to hand out our business cards? … well I get a lot of referrals through my business cards. You are not suppose to look at your LCD screen? … Well sometimes you have to make sure you got the shot the way the client wanted it, plus I am often to anxious to wait to download them on my computer when I get home. So we are not suppose to tell our clients what to do, to make a better photo? …. well clients are coming to us because they want a professional, someone who is talented and makes money off their photography… I WILL Continue to direct my clients as needed durring their session. This was aweful… very tempting to delete YOU off facebook and continue to NOT follow your blog. Please come up with something LESS offensive to professional photographers.

    • Um, geez, most of the stuff you said in your post you completely missed the jokes in the video. Like, the business card thing…they were mainly making fun of the name “lovely love photography.” And I doubt they are making fun of looking at the LCD screen a little. They are saying you shouldn’t be looking at it a LOT. Which you shouldn’t. And some of the directions they were giving their clients while shooting…were bad. Like, ONLY looking at the camera and smiling, and asking someone else (like their assistant) to tell them to smile, kiss, hold hands. I think your taking everything they said to the extreme.

  14. Paris Visone

    You think these photographers are real??

    sh*t photographers say…

  15. Wsroadrunner

    LOL. I think the people who are most offended by this video probably see themselves in it. LOL

    • yep. lol

      And even though it’s a woman, women get picked on the most because they’re the ones that set up shop as a photographer a week after they get their canon rebels or nikon d3000’s for Christmas. Men just creep into it and make snide remarks about equipment they don’t quite understand, lol.

      • Wsroadrunner

        You’re partially right Krissy, it is largely because of the bored housewife syndrome. They get a camera and a couple of halfway decent shots their family and friends say they like and boom, they are pros.

        With men, it is a little different. While I am not saying that men can’t be fauxtogs (I have met up with a few of them) it is far less common. I makke my living 100% from photography and I make a good living at it. I studied and got 2 degrees in photography and worked as an apprentice before venturing out on my own.

        Men do have the gender disadvantage in many ways that it is generally the girlfriend/wife/mother who sets up the photos and quite frankly, they don’t look at the quality as a determining factor as they do price and who the photographer is (gender wise). It’s sad that some people get shorted on thier photos like that, but ya get what ya pay for.

  16. Jesslynn

    I am a SAHM and am into photography. I’m sure people might think the same of me and photography as they do every other SAHM that does it. Truth is, I started taking photography classes before I had my first child, but due to a rough pregnancy, I had to drop all my classes. Now that I’ve had two kids, I decided to get back into it. The bashing of SAHM’s is seriously a little ridiculous. I’ll admit that there are some out there that should just stick to taking family snapshots, but why hate on the ones that are actually taking it seriously and trying to make something of themselves other than just being a SAHM, which people will continually to degrade and never understand?…

  17. Ironic.

    Just because you own a video camera, you are NOT a comedian.
    You can’t buy talent.

    • Yes you cannnnnnn….
      you just can’t buy talent for yourself lol
      Everyone can “buy” lots of talent though 😉

  18. Can we rename this video Sh*t People Who Can’t Edit Produce? This did not need to be 4 1/2 minutes.

    • LOL omg true!
      at about 2 minutes in I was like OMG how long is this thing FOUR MINUTES…wait FIVE MINUTES?

  19. Judy Blue Eyes


  20. I am a live music photographer and when I’m shooting festivals I absolutely check the shots after each band. I’ll delete photos that look crappy. If I didn’t, it would take me a lot longer to edit on the computer. Music photography is very different to portraits, I know, changing lighting conditions make it a nightmare sometimes, but still. This video was pretty stupid. It’s sexist, and really unfunny.

  21. Sorry, but this is really stupid… I want to see a professional that doesn’t direct their clients as to what to do… The number one rule in making your clients feel comfortable is talking to them… Pictures of people standing there clueless, would make me second guess the photographers skills…. AND, we ALL look at our lcd… or computer if thats what you use… whatever.. Anybody that knows anything about photography knows, you can take one picture that looks horrible due to movement, camera shake, flashes misfiring, or lighting shifts. Then the next one is perfect.. If you just trust your camera will do it right, without looking at it for yourself, you are not a professional in my opinion…

    • Oh come on, people! Granted, this video is , if you consider what “she’s” doing as “directing” then you’re outing yourself as fauxtog! That was not directing!

    • Oh come on, people! Granted, this video is bland, but if you consider what “she’s” doing as “directing” then you’re outing yourself a fauxtog! That was not directing!

      This video is repetitive but it’s a pretty accurate description of a modern day female fauxtog. I’d love to see an uncle bob video… “oh do you have the new 10-500 mm. f1.2? It’s the only way to go”…

  22. This was not funny in any way, shape or form. Waste of 4 minutes of my life. Thanks 🙂

  23. The “photographer” who wrote this uses spot color among many other typical “don’ts”. Youtube links to their fb page.

    I’m all for hopping on a high-horse when someone’s work warrants it…but in this case? The high-horse bucked them right off.

  24. Gourmetguy

    These videos are poor

    God to become a pro photographer you have to be an anus
    To not do anything what they say in these videos would make you an anus
    or a photobooth

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