No You Don’t!


From this wonderful example of what the Photography Learning Center has to offer, we’d have to say, YES YOU DO!

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  1. She is so orange!

    • Actually, the orange might not be the photog’s fault. She might have a bad spray tan. That’s common on fake tans. The backgrounds on the site look like they’re somewhat balanced so it’s probably her makeup or general skin color under white light. Pro photogs often keep some blue powder makeup to tone down the orange if it’s over the top.

      The image above isn’t even close to the worst image the photog has, though… if you find the fb site, go look at the “A Child Is Born” pic. That is quite worthy of inclusion here. Yikes. This guy has a albums of okay shots mixed with horrible shots.

      • I dunno, if you look closely around the subject, you see a sort of ‘glow’ all the way around. It looks as though the hack went into LR and used the brush on the exposure setting and tried to correct an underexposed photo (see the white background and how it looks gray, but under her arm it is stark white?)

        I think the tone of her skin is a combination of a few things; bad spray tan, bad make-up application, and little to no knowledge of how to edit skin.

        Which brings me to another subject; paying good money for presets from companies that are average, at best. These companies sell crap that over-edits the skin so that each client looks like a porcelain doll. My God, some skin imperfections should be left alone. Like an infant, yes they have baby acne and blotches, but aside from those small things, there should always be creases below and around the eyes, and natural creases around the mouth! Most newborns need some editing to correct the skin tones, or the white tones in camera shooting cold, but otherwise, leave SOME of the creases in a baby’s face PLEASE.

  2. Is that a model or a dummy? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a living human with such a vapid stare…

  3. Wsroadrunner

    I’ve dabbled in medicine and surgery for a while, and now my friend has asked me to take his appendix out. He can’t afford professional medical care. I’m honored that he’s entrusted me with his special day.

    I have scissors and thread from Walmart, alcohol from Walgreens.

    I’ve googled and I think I know enough to take it out. Any advice?

    • Don’t faint.

      • Marino

        For the love of the greatest, just don’t sneeze…

    • Good on you. Just don’t confuse it with the liver… or the bladder… or the stomach…

      • Wsroadrunner

        I know which one it is, the picture shows that it has a number 3 on it. :-p

    • Seriously? It takes a lot of knowledge and expertise to do that – if you’re going to do it, you should charge a little for it so you at least seem professional. Ask for $25 or $30 for the appendix sitting fee and make sure to give him the whole appendix in a jar at the end…

      • Wsroadrunner

        Can I scan an appendix? I think it would be better to just scan the appendix and let him get it printed wherever he likes.

  4. Melissa

    The idea isn’t that bad because it’s not the camera equipment but talent that can get great shots. But yes, it takes countless hours….more like years to learn how to be even close to a professional photographer. Does it take a few hours to go from stick figures to masterpieces as a painter? Very similar. Reminds me of this:

    That aside, that photo is okay, nothing special or great, and they should at least hire a model who actually knows what they’re doing. She shouldn’t be making such a ugly expression. I know, I’m not supposed to make fun of the model. She is pretty but she should really work on actually modelling decently.

    And by the way, there is never a certificate that tells you that you are a professional artist or photographer….ever! False advertising…you sound like an idiot.

    • There is one certificate that has credibility. The PPA offers certifications that are quite difficult to achieve without a lot of work, submissions, competitions, judging, and classes. Anyone that actually achieves any of the PPA certificates has a high degree of credibility in the area of the certificate; i.e., it’s unlikely anyone who gets a PPA certificate will suck. You can also get a fine art degree in photography, which amounts to another kind of certificate.

      Although it helps, being a pro doesn’t require talent. As you suggested, study and practice are what matter, and those generally trump talent. It’s quite simple: the more you study and practice, the better you get. If you have lots of raw talent, you get years of head-start on those without it but they can still catch up to you over time.

      It’s very unlikely anyone has enough talent to make pro-quality photos at an acceptable keeper rate without a lot of study and practice.

  5. I want learn to photoshoots!

  6. BurninBiomass

    “rebuke them and turn away”

    Been awhile since I’ve had a good rebuking… and I think it involved a church.

  7. Jilly Jay

    Is it just me or is her mouth crooked? Actually her whole face seems contorted.

  8. Pelham

    Yeah, I always shoot my portraits from UNDERNEATH the bustline, suckah…..tempted to email them and see what they can *teach* me in the free lesson with my ol’ p&s…

    • ithurtswhenipee

      Don’t bother trying to email. Their latest ad has a phone number and says emails will not be answered.

  9. ithurtswhenipee

    Well the KPLC has one thing right. You don’t need an expensive camera to take good pictures. Unfortunately for them, you do need talent. Well at least you can find this out for free.

  10. ithurtswhenipee

    Whoa! Just when to their facebook page (no real website, go figure) These photoshoots are from a state that begins with the letter “T” by the way. Um… this picture is one of the “better” ones. But they will not be undersold. 15 poses for $10 (shoot ‘N’ burn). At least you get your money’s worth… or not.

    • From looking at the FB page, they taught me how to go to PRO in under one day: Use photoshop to make iris overly sharp, and make pupils overly large, black, and hollow.

      • I can’t find the fb page………………..

      • There were so many things there that were cringe-worthy, it’s hard to name them all. However, in observing the photographs there, a more appropriate FB page name would be KFLC.

        You know, wouldn’t it be ironic if THIS GUY were the reason for so many fauxtographers in the world? Because they all seem to have taken his class. -__-

  11. whoa, I just rebuked in my mouth a little.

  12. If I was a heterosexual and had to fuck her she would probably slap me cause I would start laughing so hard!

  13. Found them on meet up

    They have a meetup planned called “from amateur to professional in just ONE DAY!” and here Iam having wasted 5 years honing my skills when I could have gotten BETTER than I am now in just one day with them … I sure feel stupid.

    “FROM AMATEUR TO A PROFESSIONAL STUDIO PHOTOGRAPHER IN JUST “ONE DAY”! Limit: 2 photographers per workshop This full day workshop includes learning how to set your camera for controlled studio lighting, how to set up and check exposures for …studio lighting, how to choose various props & backgrounds that best accent your subject and their clothing, how to relate to and pose your subject, how to professionally enhance your photos with simple retouching techniques, and more. All workshops include a local model, to be used as your subject. Fee: $100 per photographer attendee, that comes with a Money-back Guarantee, if you feel you’re not ready to start producing professional-quality portraits on your own, upon its completion. Who else offers you that? Give me a call: [masked]”

    I mean … they are offering a guarantee after all so it has to work right? ROFL.

  14. It’s my daughter’s Mrs. Potato in real life (True Story 😛 )

  15. Pelham

    Hey, if this is their default pose for models and get one with really big implants from this angle too, they can always tell her to pretend to be the sun rising over Twin Peaks…if she can see over them 🙂

  16. there’s actually a ‘meetup’ group for this site (check out my link)… I want to go from amateur to pro in just one day, for $100 — wow — who knew that’s all it takes!

    But alas, he has to close the studio… must not be that much of a call for pros in TN… check out the discussion board… I love this quote: “I will be moving to a cabin in the Cherokee National Forest for awhile…”

    Reading this has given me the inspiration I need to open my new studio… stay tuned for the grand opening of: The In a Trailer Down by the River Photographic Institute – TITDRPI

    • Pelham

      LOL! Sure, sign me up Bubba, you sound a lot more reputable than some guy who makes his models look like poorly-inflated blowup dolls 🙂

  17. Looking at the ad and the model, I wonder if this is indeed a photography school or if it’s just an old-fashioned “camera club” in which “gentlemen” show up with their cameras as some secret location or other and pay for the opportunity to get photos of the model, who was usually nude or nearly-nude. Basically it was a way to make pornography more palatable for the wealthy.

  18. Onychomys

    Looking at his facebook work, the dude really loves him some pupil. Seriously, what’s up with that? It looks like every one of them was done right after the model went to an eye exam! Giant dilated pupils all over the dang place.

  19. The subject is pretty, too bad the photo isn’t.

  20. I think the fact that his FB page has only 59 likes might tell us something! And yes he’s clearly a BIG fan of the pupil!

  21. maggie

    Anyone else notice that he says he will teach you to start taking pictures like a “pro,” in quotes. It’s clear to me that he knows he’s full of crap.

  22. Heather

    Damn.. what was I thinking? I could have just gone there instead of spending all that money on college. Sheesh. Can’t you get sued for false advertising?

  23. The MM portfolio is amusing:

  24. You know. I might just be able to fap to this…

  25. The Doctor

    Jackie Tyler: The Early Years

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