Fauxtogs who should end up on the main page…

[picstop]

seth….”That’s gotta be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard”.  You forgot to finish the sentence with “so far”.  I’m sure someone will come up with something far more inane at some point.  And then I wonder, what are the selective colour photos, “clothed souls”?

[NoLoveLossless]

😀 – picstop, you crack me right the hell up!

Now this one may not qualify for the main page; they do show a bit of promise. But still…really? A pose like this and you cut off the arms and legs? W.T.F?!?!?  I mean, come on! http://photos.daveshevett.com/p322877185/h398adf54#h331ad10

And the wedding examples, while not horrid like some, still show quite the lack of knowledge on making a bride look her best.  http://photos.daveshevett.com/p830973433/h32494d1f#h32494d1f

And it’s nice they got the leaves on the trees behind the group in focus on this one!  http://photos.daveshevett.com/p830973433/h32494d1f#h3870016f

How do you get THIS close to a kid and still not get him in focus? http://photos.daveshevett.com/p322877185/h1e8c1f7e#h1e8c1f7e

[NoLoveLossless]

OK, Help me out here. Here’s a craigslist find. http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/for/4665324076.html

W.T.F is French Style? Is that some sort of code for ‘I can’t take a photo in focus to save my life?’ Or does it just mean  ‘I don’t know the first thing about exposure so I’ll just call it French Fauxtography and everyone will come running!’

[NoLoveLossless]

Oh, Looky!!! More ‘French Style’ photography!! http://knoxville.craigslist.org/for/4601838637.html

 

(that’s what I’m calling the outoffocusdontunderstandexposurestuff from now on – it sounds sooooooo classy!

[nesgran]

It doesn’t end there. She’s got lots of photos of kids sat on active rail tracks, great.

[NoLoveLossless]

Oh, yeah, nesgran, she has it all. Selective color, blurry focus, horrid horizons, RR tracks, lousy exposure…the lottery!!

[NoLoveLossless]

Ooooo la la!! http://auburn.craigslist.org/for/4642828650.html  Je suis très impressionné par cette merde floue!

[picstop]

I have to reply to the last one first as it almost made me cry with laughter.  So, http://auburn.craigslist.org/for/4642828650.html…is “Looking for two attractive couples getting married in the next 90 days”.  So, after you send this person your photos, he/she will decide if you’re attractive enough for this special deal (which is really just him/her building his/her portfolio)?  Classy.

Re: the country photog, well, that is indeed the lottery.  Her price certainly reflects her output.  A very long time ago, someone somewhere asked a question along the lines of, “would you rather do 50 weddings a year at $500 or 5 at $5000”?  But you also have to produce the photos for the later so she will likely be stuck at the first (actually she’s $400) for a long time unless she realizes she needs to improve.  Or maybe she likes doing it that way.

And, the “french style”.   I’m going to steal that.  From now on, when I accidentally screw up, I’ll just tell the couple that the out of focus piece of junk was done intentionally in the “french style”.  Ooh la la.  Not.  And, unlike Miss Country Photog, this one is charging $2k for these?  And he/she is posting this http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/for/4665324076.html to lure people into parting with $2k?  I think the French should sue him/her.

Finally, the DS shots.  Well, yes, how do you post a headshot of a little boy that’s that out of focus?  And flattering pic of that bride in the window.  At least he’s not French.

[cass335]

Here ya go… not claiming to be a professional photographer…but claiming to be a “photo shopping genius!”

 

Enjoy (I wish he had more examples. lol)

http://lansing.craigslist.org/crs/4656757210.html

[seth]

ok so after I made that post I googled that quote and the guy’s name and supposedly he’s some Canadian journalist who wrote some book.  Really?  Is this the kind of crap we are quoting now?  I seriously can’t get over how utterly stupid it sounds that you would be photographing someone’s souls if you’re using black and white but a color photo is JUST of their clothing.  I seriously can’t get over how stupid that is.  And people say America (and Canada apparently) aren’t being dumbed down??

[seth]

LOL at the Photoshop genius.  “Professional photoshopper can turn any picture into a work of art! I specialize in turning real photos into amazingly awesome pictures. Send me your picture and what you want done with it. You won’t be sorry!”  He takes REAL photos and turns them into amazing PICTURES. ok!

[Northerngirl]

Long time lurker, had to come out of the woodwork to show you guys a photographer a few towns away from me.   I should have submitted her a while back when she had done some ballet dancers…they kind of looked like orange oompaloompas with no arms or legs (totally blown out so they blended with the white backdrop) but she pulled them down.  Any way – here is her Facebook and website.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/R-n-R-Photography/217222398359103

http://www.rnrphotography.ca/

My particular favourites are the twins.

[Tiradia]

@That craigslist ad… Photographs?! Really… PHOTOGRAPHS?! Not portraits? That is a big pet peeve 😐 to me photographs= snapshots. snapshots=come from a faux. Portraits are what we strive to produce. Not photographs -_- and I’ve never heard of this “French.” style before, must be new!

[seth]

A “Photograph is an image created by collecting an array of photons onto light-sensitive paper.”

[picstop]

What is up with rnrphotography?  I had a second to kill so I looked at her portfolio.  I was not disappointed.  Indeed, fairly blech.  The most curious thing though, was the engagement portfolio slideshow.  It was nothing but pics of the rings.  One after another, rings, rings, rings.  Are there any happy people planning to spend their lives together in wedded bliss?  Just rings you say.  Hell, anyone can make a massive portfolio of engagement shots this way.  “Yep, I’ve shot 3000 happy couples who have gotten engaged.  Just look at all those rings creatively placed on stuff”!  Egads.

[Author]

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