I’ll agree the highlights are a little bright, probably a third to half a stop over exposed. Her left hand draws more attention as it is brighter, have you tried a bit of burning on it to see if that helps with the eyes being drawn to it?
I would also agree that you could have gotten better results with a longer lens, her breasts look massive given the lack of compression and the shadow in the cleavage. They are also a little speckly
I like the lighting and the expression but the corner in the wall behind her is a little distracting. I would possibly have directed the rimlight so it didn’t fall on her face as much or at all, you could always stick a reflector to lighten up that side if needed. Now it looks a little like there is a sharp corner over her right cheek.
Since it is for make up, a tighter crop could possibly help showcase her skills more. I would probably have sacrificed a bit of shutter speed and gone to 1/100 and f4 instead to crispen up the image a little.
Since I know you mainly shoot portraits, have you considered a 85 f1.2 I instead of a 24-70? They go pretty cheap on the used market, the af is slow but not that much worse than your 50 1.8 but if it was to break it’d be hard to fix. The images are however magical from it and sharp all the way from 1.2