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better cropped tighter:

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It's cool that you want to do all this comping work, but I would suggest that you find a real location by scouting spots and setting up shots on location. You can essentially get away with most of the same lighting equipment you are using in studio, with maybe a few added extras. Most shoots that are similar to what you are doing are typically done on location or on elaborately built sets. It is also true that there is a lot of comping for this type of stuff, but the plates for those shots are usually done by the photographer as well.

You've got some contrast and focus issues going on in this image. And the light isn't quite right yet...