Definitely getting there.
Perhaps you should turn your head slightly left so the camera can see the edge of your face, beyond the eye, but not enough that it can see your ear. Really difficult to do if you are alone when doing this. Try picking a spot on the wall to look at when adjusting your pose. If you are doing this with one light, try a white reflector to bounce some light onto your back to separate you from the background. You can use a commercial reflector or some white foam board from a hobby shop.