I wish you would’ve thrown Jude into the highway. That would’ve been a hilarious scene. Your buddies could have helped you.
As someone who actually knows him, I know he doesn’t smell. It’s a bit disturbing that you keep repeating this stuff about grooming when you yourself sport a really goofy beard among other bad grooming habits. Maybe you’re obsessed with his smell because it attracts you? Is that why you keep e-mailing him and offering to buy him beer or coffee? You want a date? That’s cute. I’m sure he’s tickled to death about it all.
The most professional response here is to continue to say somebody smells bad and threaten them with violence.