After… too many radioactive wine coolers?

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  1. Gimmee some of those wine coolers.

  2. Man, I need her teeth whitener! Those suckers GLOW!

  3. Glenda

    Oh no … the radioactivity melted her face and fused her teeth together! Poor girl …

    • I think the fauxtog is breathing a HUGE sigh of relief. Because if he hadn’t successfully fused her teeth, she might be tempted to give him a piece of her mind…..but no worries…

  4. That Photoshop technique is useful for hiding blemishes and giving a (very) soft glow when done right, and used in images with decent lighting. But half assing an airbrush technique on grandma’s shitty mobile pic makes her look like the people from dune who control the spice.

    • We can thank picnik for this trend. Most of these fauxtogs have never touched a real photoshop program.

      The free online “photoshop” has a spot where you can airbrush and glow-ify the hell out of a picture..Thus the fauxtog.

      I will admit, when I didn’t have a photoshop program I LIGHTLY edited my personal pictures until I was able to afford the proper programs. Anyway. That was the birth of the fauxtog and this really-needing-to-end phase of glowing barbie dolls with demon eyes.

  5. “Captain, there’s a transporter malfunction! Her atoms are being scattered!”

  6. Yepple

    Radiant. Positively radiant.

  7. TollToll

    Are those her natural eyes? LOL

  8. Photos like that should come with creepy 1950s space alien movie music attached.

  9. OMG, I kept thinking it was still loading (progressively). Then I realized it wasn’t changing…dude. What an impressive fail!

  10. she’s actually 103 years old. Smooth ….

  11. Filth. I seriously hope people don’t look at these and purchase them anyway…

    • Robert

      I actually hope they do purchase them. If they do all of their friends and everyone at WalMart will know they are idiots.

  12. This looks like the result of the ‘beauty shot’ mode which some point-n-shoots are blessed with. I say ‘blessed’, well it is if you want everyone to look like Ken and Barbie…..

  13. AFTER…?
    Perhaps this is what we’ll all look like in the afterlife???

  14. Robert

    Evidently she is wearing a glow in the dark bra as well.

  15. Grendel

    I want to see “BEFORE”

  16. Insanehmong

    seems legit

  17. artie fufkin

    makes a nice caption contest


    AFTER the taxidermist smokes a bong and goes NUTS with the fake eyes

  18. “After” means “anus” in german and that seems to fit..

  19. mrrabbit2502

    Hey, where can I get that fruit loop necklace from. My eyes were chained to a locomotive and hauled right to them.

  20. There is no honesty in this image. The retouching has been taken too far to the point it has removed the personality and individualism from the subject. It would have been a good shot if it wasn’t for that.

  21. She’s a beautiful woman. I love her smile and I bet she has awesome dimples. This completely ruined the photo and I want to take off my glasses to check for smudges.

  22. I think more than the pictures, I love the titles. lol.

  23. NameWithheld

    After a visit to the planet Dune, Susie came back with a nice glow about her!

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