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Naked Salad

Obviously this images brings a lot of questions to mind but most importantly… what kind of dressing goes best with this type of salad?!

73 Comments
  1. MDS says:

    a pinch of Tequila. Or maybe a bottle.

       6 likes

  2. AC says:

    As soon as I saw the title “Naked Salad”, a thousand images ran through my head. But none were as horrendous as this.

       33 likes

  3. steponmeeh says:

    This takes the term “toss your salad” to a whole new level…

       6 likes

  4. julie says:

    ahhhhhh thats so bad

       0 likes

  5. Angela says:

    Tomatoes are fruit.

       16 likes

  6. monolith says:

    Unsettling. They’ve digitally buffed the model’s body to resemble that of a milk-fed tween. Yet the head resembles a mentally-challenged adult, smacking and grinning while mischievously degrading the vegetable bin. As erotic as a Special Olympics poster.

       66 likes

    • Arnaud says:

      Best Comment ever for something like this! LOL. You had me rolling..

         2 likes

    • Timothy says:

      As a photographer who specializes in working with families with disabilities, I am going to disagree totally with you that she has the face of a mentally-challenged adult. That said, however, I do want to thank you for your selection of words to express your thoughts as opposed to using the R-word.

         15 likes

  7. Tina says:

    Looks like a 12 year old drag queen who was so bad on stage that she/he was pummeled with vegetables. Somebody needs to contact the local Special Victims Unit!

       10 likes

    • stef says:

      Young females have boyish hips, and that’s been the style of model since Twiggy. I occasionally shoot fashion, and some 21yo women look like they’re mid-teens the same way some 21yo women look like they’re 30.

      Rip on the photographer if he deserves it. But only douchebags rip on the model. That’s just low class.

         25 likes

      • 2BeeWise says:

        I love the photograph. It’s imaginative to say the least.
        I do have a problem with a “term” in the language above.
        In my view “douchebag” is ugly and vulgar in addition
        to being sexist and chauvinistic. Let’s reference women
        and everything female, including breasts with dignity and
        respect. (“Boob” is a term from the late 1800′s and early
        1900′s denoting fool. I first heard it “resigned” in the
        1940′s)

           1 likes

  8. Izzy says:

    Is that even her head?

       2 likes

  9. Biff Sweldon says:

    I’m not sure what the dressing is but I think there are anchovies in it.

       3 likes

  10. Ashl says:

    Idiot fauxtographers like this are the number one reason I quit modeling. That fuckhead was either genuinely moronic enough to believe he was creating art or was well aware that he wasn’t and just convinced a naive girl that it was so she’d get naked for him so he could get his jollies. I don’t even know who he is and I hate him based on this picture alone.

       26 likes

    • stef says:

      Ashl, there’s a third option. He (or she) and the model could’ve been asked to do a nyotaimori-style image for a vegan magazine or flyer or something. It might very well be taken out of context.

      There are definitely some issues with the non-complimentary posing of the head and the way the lighting is hitting, causing her chin to disappear and a very flat look to the whole thing. And by adding Orton glow to her body but not the leaves, it makes it look horribly shopped.

      I’ve seen a lot worse than this image, even if it’s out of context. I’m saddened that fauxtogs drove you out of modeling.

         1 likes

  11. Gracie says:

    Is it the weird, milky body, that fake looking eye makeup that may have been photo-shopped on, or the fruit/vegetables that don’t look real……..wait…where do you keep those bags that you puke in? cause….i may need a few…..at least…..

       8 likes

  12. Angela says:

    Where the hell did her chin go?

       23 likes

    • justme says:

      looks like they forgot it when they shopped her head onto a twelve-yr-old’s body. Yes, I am aware that some grown women have bodies that look like that, but this clearly looks ‘shopped.

         3 likes

      • Amy says:

        The weird fuzziness around the hips seems to imply that the photographer (or editor) has photoshopped away her hip bones. Which just makes the image itself look awkward. She’s obviously a girl who’s meant to have curves…they just got edited away. :(

           0 likes

  13. Michael says:

    How to be a purfeshunul pitcher takerer**
    1. goto BestBuy and get camera
    2. charge battery
    3. download a cracked copy of CS6 Master Suite and get a FB account for new biz
    4. call in-bred cousin you are dating so you can get sexy pics for FB
    5. Spend 2 days “lernin sum shop skillz” by smearing your fecal matter around with filters and stolen plug-ins.
    6. upload to FB and wait for the money to roll in!!

    ** I actually had “business cards” from a professional camcorderer, spelled that way too.

       13 likes

  14. spike says:

    Huh? No cumquats?

       3 likes

  15. ithurtswhenipee says:

    Q: “‚Ķ what kind of dressing goes best with this type of salad?!”

    A: Vinegar and water, obviously.

       7 likes

  16. CB says:

    I don’t understand why people always think they have to arrange themselves as sexy models when in fact they don’t have the face or body for it.

       1 likes

    • Canaduck says:

      I don’t understand why you felt the need to say something so nasty and unnecessary but here we are.

         18 likes

    • Amy says:

      There’s nothing wrong with the model. She has a reasonably attractive face and body, which is something that a proper photographer could easily work with to make gorgeous photos.

      Unfortunately this isn’t what happened here…

         0 likes

  17. meggy says:

    I am really really uncomfortable with this picture, the body is that of a pre-adolescent. Too young to be posing like this. Yuk. Please take it down, and ask the photgrapher to do so as well.
    And it’s also a crap picture.

       21 likes

  18. Nikki says:

    Yes this could be child porn and NEEDs to be reported if so. Where did this come from?

       4 likes

  19. dickie says:

    It’s not the worst thing I’ve ever seen here.

       0 likes

  20. MP says:

    No cucumber jokes yet?

       5 likes

    • spike says:

      I”m just glad the ‘tog went to a farmers’ market instead of a fish market. As for the model herself, I am beginning to wonder myself. PP smoothing can hide a lot of signs of age, but those are not the hands of a fully grown adult. If she’s “old enough”, it’s by the skin on a hen’s tooth.

         4 likes

  21. BurninBiomass says:

    “Tossing your salad” … you are doing it wrong.

       0 likes

    • BurninBiomass says:

      But seriously, can we get an age check on this girl? I agree with meggy above, she seems a too young for this sort of thing.

         10 likes

  22. This girl does not look old enough to be doing this, underdeveloped hips was my clue. She’s also posed so awkwardly and does not have the jawline to be posing like that. What’s with the word “vegetables” graffitti-ed in on the side? The fact that this looks like it’s done in a studio with studio lighting is concerning, because you know it’s not just some girl in her bedroom goofing around.

       6 likes

    • spike says:

      Speaking of veggies….isn’t the tomato now classified as a fruit?

         1 likes

      • Christopher says:

        The tomato (and the pepper, for that matter) has always been a fruit. Politicians call it a vegetable so they can tax it as a vegetable.

           2 likes

  23. RealWedTog says:

    It’s a shame this pretty corpse was so pitifully arranged, forced to fondle vegetables, and then painted with makeup. She seems to have died with a smile on her face, as the crime scene photographer dutifully captured. RIP.

       6 likes

  24. someone says:

    so confused

       1 likes

  25. Timothy says:

    There are so many images posted on this site that are obviously created by fauxtographers with no clue about photography. They are underexposed, overexposed, out of focus, no control of DOF and just plan snapshots. And there is no shortage of images like that for you to choose from to share on this site.
    This image shows creativity as well as a decent understanding of photography. And though many of us (including me) have a lot of issues with the content of the image, it is technically a good image.
    As for the age of the subject in this image, could go either way. The body looks too young, but the face certainly looks old enough. I know girls in their late teens and early 20s who have bodies of younger teens.

       5 likes

    • agreed! when i submitted my port in the forums site i got RIPPED apart, mainly cause of my style, its more edgy than some and people just couldnt get past the models looks. i have a great concept of technical aspects of photography but the only thing they ripped on was the models… no constructive criticism of how to better my work in a technical manner or suggestions on camera settings or anything like that… thats what you get with an anonymous site created to rip on people’s work… people enjoy being assholes and most of the people who dont link their name to their work probably arent even photographers…

      nice port Timothy, love the one of the boy with prosthetic leg, very creative!

         3 likes

      • Pelham says:

        Ahem…you claim to have a great grasp of the technical aspects, yet you expect people to tell you how to improve in a technical manner or suggestions on camera settings…wtf…

        Well I can give you one improvement right off the bat. Turn your mode dial off the green-camera mode, to the skeery letter M. Then go shoot 500 frames a day.

           5 likes

      • reality check says:

        Posing and good direction IS important to good photography? Lighting IS important. Composition and lines ARE important. Being aware of your surroundings IS important. Post processing IS important. Shall I go on??? Taking girls to a parking lot, having them take off their clothes, and then exposing them properly (no pun intended), is NOT what being a professional photographer is all about. It’s about WAY more than settings and understanding exposure dude, and until you figure that out you will continue to get slack, and never reach your goal. You were offered wonderful advice from several photographers on how you could improve. Your “style” is not “edgy”. It’s amateur and crude. Anyone with an understanding of the exposure triangle and the want to shoot beautiful women could have taken the same shots. Your attitude sucks, and that’s too bad because I see you have something that could be developed…oh well, I throw my hands up

           6 likes

      • David in Oregon says:

        I’ll give you some honest feedback of your portfolio.

        First, people that pick on the beauty of the model are jerks. He or she might be the most sexy, sophisticated model in the world, or a teen with pimples, but she is putting herself in front of a lens and its our job to make her look as good as possible. Not to lie, but distort reality a little.

        Second, most of the people bashing the models looks aren’t exactly model material themselves.

        Now…the portfolio.

        You have some beautiful models, well posed and well shot. And some less beautiful models (normal humans, like most of us!) that I feel you made look beautiful, with well exposed shots, good makeup, and some great lighting. Obviously you are using off camera lighting…soft box and/or umbrella strobes and/or reflectors, and the results show. Great job, I mean it!

        You are majorly screwing up by not paying some attention to the background. There are things going on behind the models that just keep trashing an otherwise nicely executed shot. For example, you have a car, sidewalk or a building growing out the side of some heads.

        Secondly, a lot of your pictures are bisected by the horizon…right in the middle of the picture, right in the middle of the model. Ever hear of the “Rule of Thirds?” Yes, like any rule, its made to be broken, but we should avoid constantly breaking it until we understand it, know how to use it, and then know why we aren’t going to follow it for this particular shot.

        Lastly, your logo, 3rd Eye View, looks like something that got only a “C” in a high school graphics arts class. Its a disturbing, awful distraction with ridiculous curves and swoops that drive the eyes to sweep over your shots at strange, unnatural angles. It isn’t edgy, its nauseating. And it just takes up way too much space.

        Please don’t focus on the negatives. Many of your shots are excellent in every way. Even the “cliche” shots of the girl in front of the brick wall. :-)

        You have an eye for photography, and I know (lord, believe me, I KNOW!) its very hard to think about every aspect of a shot when you have a lovely lady in front of your lens. But learn to see past the girl. Its hard to do in even the biggest DSLR or ILC viewfinder, so try framing the image using your hands in front of your face and ask yourself what works. Think backgrounds and what might distract the eye, then move to minimize it. Then start shooting.

        Good luck!

           5 likes

      • kat says:

        What a thoughtful critique, Dave in Oregon! It’s nice to see someone giving constructive criticism, esp. on here!

           1 likes

    • purin says:

      My idea of a “good image” usually has people with chins.

         7 likes

    • Fred says:

      The only technical issue I have with this one is that the jaw of the model disappears.

      As for the age – I agree could go either way – I’ve seen some 14 year olds that have more developed bodies than her and some 20 somethings that have less developed bodies – all depends on the DNA.

         0 likes

  26. Kevin says:

    The Wierdest thing? Google images can only find this image on this site and scarymommy.com (where it was posted yesterday, referenced back to this site!)…
    Go figure…

       2 likes

  27. Mikey says:

    I have no issue with the subject matter of this photo, and I believe that the idea is fine for whatever it was going to be used for. They were trying to show veggies in a sexy light so as to cause more interest in eating them, is my guess for why this photo was done. I dont believe that the model is too young, you can tell by looking at the face and remembering that if this were an illegal photograph, it probably would have stayed in someone’s private library (I’m not condoning that kind of photography, just stating a fact), not to mention it probably wouldn’t have ended up on such a public forum.

    That all being said, I think the aftereffects/editing on this photo is why it ended up here. The photograph itself I think could have been pulled off if the photographer hadn’t of edited the ever-living-hell out of it! There is way too much smoothing of skin, they could have backed up on that; too much leaves you with a model that looks fake. I believe there is a little editing of body shape on the left side; if I’m right, and there was, it was both completely unnecessary and may well be why so many think this woman is under-age. The lighting focuses too much on the body, leaving the head in darkness, that could easily have been remedied with another light or a lighting adjustment. Lastly, the lettuce does not look real, I am not sure if it was placed on afterwards or if it was actually on the model and then edited later to “enhance” it? Either way, it looks unnatural and weird.

    That is my two and a half dollars, anyway.

       1 likes

  28. Megan says:

    Is it just me, or does it look like they took her real face and photoshopped it onto someone else’s body? There seems to be something quite wrong with the facial structure and jaw line in angle with the facial features.

       4 likes

  29. Call Me Maisie says:

    I’ve been sitting here, trying to come up with a clever response… but I got nothing. There are no words to describe this… this… HORROR!!

       2 likes

  30. mjp says:

    I agree with Megan. This looks like two different people. The face of someone else Photoshopped onto this body. Awful.

       3 likes

  31. MG says:

    This would actually be neither a bad concept were it not for the fact that it’s been Photoshopped to hell and back. And what’s with the crappy “vegetables” text and font?

       0 likes

  32. EvilDaystar says:

    But seriously, for images like these, you should use a NSFW cover image on the main page.

       0 likes

  33. Call Me Maisie says:

    I’m pretty sure the veggies are ‘shopped in. They just don’t look right…

       1 likes

  34. kbee says:

    My first thought was, “Hey! Decent exposure, image quality, lighting, background!” Which is a testament to the crappy, underexposed rubbish that ends up on this site. You can tell that this was done with some decent equipment in a ‘studio’ setting.

    That said, that’s all that works here. The model has been brushed way too much; she truly does look like a marionette doll that was dropped on the floor and left there. Her pose is unnatural and uncomfortable, her chin is gone, her hair is just flopped there without care. And don’t forget the nice Vegetables text thrown to the side.

    I could be wrong, but after looking longer at the vegetables, it looks like they were added in post. To me, it looks like a nude photo that was then edited to have vegetables strategically placed. I see no shadow underneath them, though there are shadows around her. They lie kinda flat, they don’t conform to her body shape.

    Whatever. Even if this was technically done right, even if this same model was posing in a boudoir shot, it would be all wrong. It’s just not working.

       0 likes

  35. justme says:

    Is it weird that the first thing I noticed was the horrendous eye-shadow? (and then I noticed the head-photo-shopped-onto-another-body blurred line, and then the “OMG–is she twelve?!” body of the model…)

       1 likes

  36. Cassiopia says:

    Ewww. Just ewww.

       0 likes

  37. Mochi says:

    What dressing goes with this image? How about a thick, creamy slathering of Put Some Clothes On!!! I don’t care who you are, food can be many things, but it in itself is never sexy.
    People as such? Sure. My dinner? Not unless there’s eyecandy on my plate.

       0 likes

  38. Derp says:

    What about…. un-dressing? ;)

    I know I’m horribly late, but it took a good while to come up with this pun.

       0 likes

  39. Yani Dueri says:

    this SCREAMS anorexia?

       0 likes

  40. Kesa says:

    Seems like the best dressing to go with this salad is vinegar & water…..it’s made by summers eve… ;)

       0 likes

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